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 Ok, I got guts telling all of u, but i need all ur advices. Sorry if its long

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UnknownZero
Peasant
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Join date : 2010-10-31
Age : 26
Location : California

PostSubject: Ok, I got guts telling all of u, but i need all ur advices. Sorry if its long   Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:44 am

My life is hella crappy right now, like u guys dnt even understand how hard it is. and im actually tryin to keep da story short soo if it doesnt really make any sense then i understand u. Before I get into details I would like to share how I used to be in da past. Well back then I was really really close to a friend, we almost went out, we did alot of things like wut couples do, u know, hold hands, kiss on da cheek here and there, txt day n night, late night tlk on da phone until we both fall asleep on da phone together, but we didnt go out cuz she was going out wid someone at da time but she HATES him. From there things went down n I got all depressed, and I wasnt myself, I got into drinkin, smoking, hitting myself. Now i'm not talkin about just pinches, or biting im talkin about makin scars on my face hitting my head until I pass out( I used to do martial arts so I know spots where to knock someone out). But later on, months, we stopped tlkin for a while and I got into a relationship with someone else buut few months after we went out, she broke up with me but I dont get y but then my friend was there to help me feel better and that changed my life, my life now, well lets just say I am who I am right now and how u guys see me online. Now that was all background info.

Heres wut I need help on. Alots been going on, sooo much stress, sooo much depression. I even feel like I lost to one of my best friends/brother n my other best friend/sister. When I needed someone to vent I would go to them now its like I cant go to them anymore. I cnt really explain how my life is goin but heres wut i need help. Bcuz my life is like really hard right now, its like i need someone there, i need someone who can help me feel better, someone who can keep me smiling, someone to fill up this gap inside me. Yea in real life when I see someone cute I tell my friends "omg she looks cute, I should try tlkin to her" but really I dont its like ever since my ex broke up wid me , I'm scared of being in a relationship cuz I gave it my all n she just threw it away, but for some reason even though i feel like that its like i like my friend, the one I was really really close to. I was sooo depressed 2 days ago and I actually talked to my friend, I told her...I got back into smoking, drinkin not yet, hittin myself never again. But I do feel like all the things I used to do back then is comming back. And all those feelings is putting me into pressure to just talk to my friend and admit my true feelings towards her, but I cant because I dont want anything dat would mess us up, I dont want to lose her cuz shes like my best friend now but if i admit my feelings i might skrew things up, and I just dnt know wut to do. Yea I seem all bubbly n stuff on mabi but really most of da time, im not myself. All I can think about is her. Like, I just wanna tlk to her so she can make me all happy, and all that other stuff but I just know I cant and iono wut to do. Now heres a quote that I made up it goes, "In school, they give u the listen and then the test. But in life, they give u the test and then the lesson" The test for me is, can I live life how I want it to be? But no because I have all this obsticles dats putting me down but my lesson is really really pushing it, all I can think of doin, to keep my mind off of this is smoking till i can empty out my mind and drink till I cant drink no more. But I know theres another cure to it but its also just sooo confusing. Iono, what do u guys think I should do? Should I wait for da right time to tell her? Should I not tell her at all? Again, srry if it doesnt make sense, im not really all that good of telling a story or anything. Again, srry, n if u guys have an answer, that would be great
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Seishi
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Join date : 2010-10-11
Age : 23
Location : Hawaii

PostSubject: Re: Ok, I got guts telling all of u, but i need all ur advices. Sorry if its long   Wed Nov 17, 2010 1:18 am

the first step in solving a problem is admitting that there is one...i haven't matured enough to give a proper solution to this problem though, so what i can suggest is talking to an adult maybe...doesnt have to be irl, just someone whos older and more wiser than me =/ meanwhile, just know that we all love you and care for you, ok? and don't do anything stupid >:I thats a command <3

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PostSubject: Re: Ok, I got guts telling all of u, but i need all ur advices. Sorry if its long   Wed Nov 17, 2010 3:11 pm

you should tell her. but then again im bad for advice. just do what you think you should do. and dont hit urself cuz ive done that and it just leads to wanting to commit suicide :/
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